Friday, February 27, 2009

Lent

I haven't posted for a month, mostly due to the fact that third quarter is always the busiest and most stressful time for teachers and students. I've had some very exhausting days and chased off sickness several times. All of that to say - I'm actually thankful that it is now Lent.

Growing up in a Protestant home, I never really knew much about Lent nor did I place a lot of value in it. I believe this was more the result of my personal oblivion when it came to certain things spiritual. My parents have always set aside a special Lenten observance. It wasn't until last school year, however, that I truly discovered the meaning of Lent. In the past, I thought it was a time when you gave up something you really liked, but never quite made it through the whole 40 days anyway. Last year, that all changed.

Last year, I decided to fast lunch every day and in place of eating in the staff lounge, did personal Bible reading, journaling and prayer in my classroom. It was a very meaningful time and I found myself anticipating Easter in a way I never had before. I really resonated with the idea of adding something in addition to taking something away.

So this school year, I am doing the same. When my students all leave for lunch, I'm staying behind to read through Genesis (for a start) and journal my thoughts or prayers at the end of that time. The first two of days of fasting have been rough - I've found myself pretty cranky and feeling like I have a very short fuse. Today, however, the third day of Lent, I felt much better and had a sense of joy throughout the day. I hope that as I'm drawing nearer to God, that my students see a better reflection of Christ's love in me.

I chose Genesis because recently I have become more aware how unaware I am of the Old Testament stories and in conversations with Ryan have found myself yearning to know the history of my own faith. After reading Genesis 4 today, I really only wrote down my list of questions. I struggled to find meaning or even clarity in this passage. Yet I am convinced that as I search for the character of God and the meaning of my own faith, I will find.

So I'm off on another adventure.

In other news... I was informed by my boss on Tuesday after school that I have been placed on "excess" due to budget cuts. Which means... I will not be teaching at Mission Valley next year. The school district will move me to another position if other positions open up. If not, I will simply have lost my job as of August. I sort of joked that I'm giving up my job for Lent. ;o ) I am at total peace with this due to the fact that Ryan & I are hoping to move away this summer anyway. Ryan graduates in May and then we're hoping to find positions elsewhere. I do feel sorrow that I'll be leaving this group of people I've come to love and am empathetic for the other 10 people in my building who are in the same situation. Our district is going to experience massive changes next year and I pray for the best.